Safety Plan for After You Leave
This is a guide to some safety measures. Women have told us that these things have helped them and their children to keep safe. You will know what is safest for you and your children. Trust your instincts. Women's Refuge advocates can support you and help you with everything that is listed here. We can help even if you don't come into the safe house.
- Talk to Women's Refuge or your lawyer about a Protection Order, Tenancy or Occupation Order (so that you can stay in your house) and sorting out custody and access arrangements.
- Find out the support numbers you may need - e.g. Women's Refuge, Doctors, Lawyers, Schools, friends and whanau/family. Keep these with you. If you're ever in danger, call 111.
- If possible, get a cell phone and keep this with you. WINZ may be able to help you get a phone. Even a pre-pay cell phone with no money on it can be used to call Emergency 111.
- If you haven't got a home phone, Women's Refuge can help you get a free one that can be used only for 111 calls.
- Make the area around your home safer: change the locks, get outside lights, repair damaged windows, trim underneath bushes and trees so you can see if anyone is hiding in them, etc.
- Tell all your neighbours and friends that you have a Protection Order and/or that the abuser is not allowed to come to your place. Ask them to ring the Police if they see anything suspicious. You could set up a code that will tell the neighbours you are in trouble e.g. ringing, hanging up, ringing again.
- Use your own bank account.
- Have your address and phone number removed from public access - e.g. get a confidential number (Telecom won't give it out); go on the unpublished Electoral Roll; get your details removed from any council register; tell WINZ, your employer, landlord, schools, doctor, etc to keep your details confidential.
- To hide your phone number from someone's Caller Display:
- if you're dialing from a Telecom or Vodafone phone or mobile: dial 0197 before dialing their phone number
- if you're dialing from a TelstraClear phone: dial *32 before dialing their phone number
- Use a third party when dealing with the abuser (e.g. .for mail, when picking up the children, when returning their property). Always take someone with you if you cannot avoid seeing the abuser.
- Develop a plan for yourself and the children about what to do in any situation -home, school, shops - if you feel threatened. Role play and practice the plan so you remember it.
- Help your children understand about what is going on. They might not need to know the details, but they do need to feel reassured.
- Ask for help from friends and whanau/family.
