How to Provide Support for Someone Experiencing Domestic Violence
For all Individuals
For Employers (The Employers' Toolkit)
The most important things to do are:
- Don't judge
- Listen
- Believe
- Take all violence seriously
- Let her know that it's not her fault
- Let her know that there are no excuses, Domestic Violence is unacceptable
- Acknowledge the courage and the strength it has taken her to get this far.
Practical Support:
- Support her to gather information on emergency accommodation
- Support her to make a safety plan Support Pages - Safety Plans
- Support her to gather legal information Legal information
- Support her to gather financial/benefit information (Visit Work and Income's Website for more information www.workandincome.govt.nz)
- Offer her support for childcare, support with police or lawyers, transport, storage etc.
Other support:
- Tell her your concerns; just be honest and respectful.
- Allow her to make her own decisions; give her information and support that enable her to do so
- Support her even if she decides to stay. It can be very difficult to watch a friend or family member stay in an abusive relationship, but leaving can be very difficult. Try to support her until she feels strong enough to leave, then go over a safety plan with her.
- Think about the children. Support them by reassuring them with familiar routines, toys and people. Help them understand what is happening but protect them from the details. Listen to their feelings and wishes and model non-violent respectful behaviour.
- Educate yourself. Use this website as a tool, or contact our crisis-line to discuss domestic violence.
- Look after yourself. It is hard work being a support person. You can get support for yourself from Christchurch Women's Refuge via the crisis line.
The Employers' Toolkit
The Family Violence Employers Toolkit contains information on how employers can support employees who are experiencing or have experienced family violence.
It contains:
· Information on Family Violence
· Family Violence and Employment Information
· Solutions for Addressing Family Violence
· Workplace Charters and Policy Templates
· Useful Contacts and Resources
Read more about the Family Violence Employers Toolkit here