Understanding Violence
Domestic Violence is about POWER and CONTROL. Power and Control over another person.
Domestic Violence is any act of violence towards a person within a domestic relationship.
Domestic violence is violence by someone who has a close relationship or emotional bond with the person they are abusing e.g. partner, father, brother, flat-mate etc.
- The central factor in defining domestic violence or the battery of women and children is fear. The violence forms a pattern of power and control that makes women and children fearful and afraid for their lives.
- Violence is caused by the abuser's attitudes and behaviours. Violence is not about just getting angry. Abusers make the choice to use violence to get what they want and to assert their control over women and children.
- Violence is not always obvious black eyes and bruises. The tactics used by abusers might be invisible to someone outside the family, they might seem trivial or random, but together the tactics have the effect of manipulating and controlling women and children, making them fearful.
- Violence against women and children in the home is backed up by systems in our society that blame the victim; put the 'family' before the safety of women and children; tolerate the use of violence; and support men's perspectives over women's.
Violence has many negative effects on women and children. Violence affects all parts of our lives, such as physical and mental health, emotional well-being, financial resources, relationships and friendships, employment, and cultural connections. Violence does not only affect those who are on the direct receiving end. Everybody suffers because of the high rates of violence in our whanau/families in Aotearoa.
Violence can be: Physical - Psychological - Emotional - Sexual
- Physical - hitting, slapping, restraining, biting, scratching, pinching, kicking, punching, pushing, burning, stabbing, shooting
- Psychological and Emotional Abuse - threats, intimidation, name calling, put downs, isolation, economic abuse, using children/pets, stalking, harassing, guilt trips, blaming
- Sexual Abuse - Unwanted sexual contact - e.g. touching, rape, verbal harassment, Making you do sexual things that hurt, make you feel ashamed, or bad, Making you feel guilty if you say no to sex, Not using contraception when you ask them to
Control Wheel - Power and Control Wheel:
Physical and sexual violence is the rim that holds the wheel together.
Just one incident of physical and sexual violence, even the threat of it, can be enough to make women and children live in fear. This fear allows the psychological abuse tactics to work, continuing the abuser's power over women and children. The Wheel also shows that psychological violence can easily 'slip' over into physical and sexual violence at any time. The whole wheel of violence is driven by the hub, which is a system of power and control used by the abuser.